Ahh to be able to blog again. It is so wonderful, I was thinking about how much I like to blog while I was showering this morning. It was just over a month ago that I decided to try it out. I haven't really told anyone (you girls of course) about my blog, I mentioned it to my sister and that is it. I haven't told DH yet, though I was close to telling him the other day. He knows I talk to you girls on the BBC boards and stuff and he can see that it has really helped me emotionally.
The next 6 months is going to be a huge challenge. I am going to *live* at home with my parents while DH goes to school. I will be in CA and he will be in VA. We do plan to visit and we can webchat and talk on the phone. He is not looking forward to leaving our little Mia, but this is our life for at least the next 10 years. He is staying in the Navy. He is at the 10 year mark now and is going to make it a career. The challenging part is adjusting to living in limbo. I don't have my own stuff, just the limited amount that I packed in a suitcase. In this house besides me and Mia is my parents and 2 teenagers (my bro and sis). So we have a houseful. There isn't a computer shortage though I am leaning towards getting my own laptop so I can use it wheneva I want to. We are going to buy a house in San Diego once DH returns from school. Staying at my parents is so I can have the emotional support with Mia and of course to help save some money. It is just going to be hard being displaced for so long. I guess that will make me love my new place that much more.
Ever since Mia came home from the hospital everyone always tells me to treat her as if she was *normal*. For the longest time I would reply I know. But that is so not true. I don't know. This is my *normal* I have 1 daughter, Mia and all I know is countless doctor appointments, therapies and researching more and more what I can do to help her. I now get offended when people say that to me. What the he€€ does that mean *normal*? Following a week ago Friday's wonderful *results* appointment I was feeling so good. Now I feel so in limbo again. It was so nice to not hear the diagnosis that I was expecting to hear. On the other hand, not to be a complainer but the unknown is really bothering me. I kind of feel like maybe now we are just prolonging the inevitable...the CP dx. If that isn't the case then what is it? If we ruled out everything then what? Now, I feel like I don't have an explanation. She is still delayed, still doesn't speak. I am trying to remain positive and at times I forget that she is approaching 20 months and she still isn't walking. I forget that almost all kids her age are walking and talking. It has become *normal* for me to have to carry her around.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
This is my *Normal*
Posted by Tara at 5:55 AM
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3 comments:
I can relate to you a lot. My mom keeps telling me that I should treat him normal. I understand this in theory but it is hard in reality to do so. I guess I didn't realize that Mia wasn't talking yet? Do you mean not forming words or no sounds at all....like babbling? That would be really tough too. I get so hung up on physical milestones, when there are so many other ones too! If it is not forming words, I can tell you about a few of my "late" bloomers....it cracks me up now what I considered "late" and what I NOW consider "normal".
I pray that you will recieve your answers soon. And what is your DH going to school for? Navy stuff? Keep us posted on that too!
"Normal" huh? I hate this term. When our little guy was first diagnosed, the neuro told us that he would never be "normal" and I asked her to define "normal." Each person is so unique that it is hard to be able to say what is normal. It is funny how people try to place kids within such boundaries.
I hope that things go well for you over the next couple of months. I will be thinking of you. I am so impressed with everything that you do and your courage with it. That is great that you have a wonderful support system. Keep us posted.
Logen did not walk until he was 3. But, he does walk. It came late- but the important thing isn't when. He's still not talking (at 4.5), so I can really relate to that. I wouldn't know normal if it slapped me in the face. We spend 16 hours per week in therapy. I have often wondered what it would be like to not go anywhere all day and really be a SAHM. I will also be praying for answers. It's hard not knowing. We thought we had a Dx, but aren't sure now. Huge Hugs! Keep us updated on your hubby. I'm glad you have your parents for support. The best advice I can give you there, is when you talk to him on the phone- don't gripe! haha I had 2 BIL's in Iraq and they said about 90% of the guys didn't call home b/c they didn't want their significant other's to whine and gripe.
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