Not sure what to call this one, so I will leave the title blank. I am having a pretty bad day. I have been very sad/depressed for the past couple of months, but it is getting worse. I have tried my hardest to keep a positive attitude and put on my *strong* face, but I just can't do it anymore. I am crumbling inside. I am having a hard time being around people, mainly all of the ones that live in the house that I am staying at. I just want to be a lone, all alone, to cry, to blog, to sleep all day if I want to and to scream and yell if I so desire. I don't want to be away from Mia, but I don't want her to see me this way. I have no privacy at this house which only makes the situation worse. I have to bottle everything up inside and when I reach my full capacity it all comes out. Today was overflow, literally, the tears would not stop. Every time I thought I had a moment of privacy to just let it all out someone would walk in and I would have to hold it all in. You would think that if you went into the bathroom you would have some privacy, but NO! I guess when you are in the bathroom for over an hour it is pretty obvious (unless you had bad food) you probably are not going to the bathroom. I get interrupted when I am just completely crying, with the tears that could fill up the sink and I hear "Tara!" I try and compose myself. I respond, "yeah." As I hear the feet approaching the door it is "Are you ok" as the door is being pounded on like the police are at the door. I freaken about flipped out. "I am fine!" I won't go on and on, but basically, what do you want Mia to do right now. I know must go and face everyone with my swollen blood shot eyes as I go and get Mia. My mom asks "What happened to your eyes." I rolled them and respond with "Nothing." I give Mia a bath and cry some more and pray so hard that I can compose myself and get Mia out of the bath. I got it together for the most part and came out with Mia and the questions continued. "Are you crying?" Respond:"No" I mean come on don't ask and obvious question. I have Mia all dressed and my mom starts in at me too. I say "I am fine, I don't want to talk." I do want to talk, but not to them. They cannot do anything to fix what is wrong with me and they certainly won't make me feel any better. Even as I try to write this blog, suddenly everyone wants to be in the same room sitting behind me looking at the computer. The questions "What are you doing?" What the f does it look like I am doing, I am on the computer and typing. So, instead I say "Nothing". Duh it is so obvious I am doing something more than nothing, but it's not their business.