What a Day...

Where to start...today was not a good day...at all. I am angry, hurt, sad, mad, frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, confused and flat out finished to say the least. If I had known what the day was going to bring I think I would have passed on the whole "waking up" thing. Let's see, the day started out ok. I was able to finish getting ready, send an email and make a phone call all before Mia woke up. That is always a plus to get things done before she wakes. I usually stay up way too late after she goes to bed just to have time to myself, but it doesn't allow me to be very productive sometimes (like important phone calls). I am hopeful that the Kaye walker will be available to Mia soon, but given the history of everything I won't get too excited. When I called the insurance they didn't have a request for it. When I called the DME the guy that answered was seriously nuts. He like flew off the handle when I called, started to argue with the receptionist about transferring the call to him (while I was on the phone). It was good that I called though because the hospital didn't fax my phone number to them, so if they had questions it wouldn't be easy to get ahold of me. Which, they did need to reach me because the hospital also didn't put my insurance information on the sheet either. Wow, is this the first time they've done this...? (sarcasm)! That gets taken care of and 20 minutes later I get another phone call, the PCM has to fax this request to the insurance, so I hang up and call the doctors office to request this. It's a good thing I called or I would be waiting until me *** falls off to get the walker. So, as it stands now I anticipate approval by the end of the week. I HOPE!

My Gym...well her waddlers class went well with the exception of my oversensitiveness. There are 2 women there who have tiny, scrawny kids, younger than Mia and Mia is clearly petite but a good 5 inches taller than them, these 2 women both constantly call Mia a baby. They keep telling their kids...look at the baby. I am sure they aren't really bscratches and they are just saying it, but it freaken pisses me off. The little things that I let get to me are ridiculous I know, but oh well. The other thing that bothers me is the teachers in the class can't seem to get that Mia can't stand without support. Today Mia was standing holding onto a Little Tikes Basketball (and she even made a basket) and it was time to clean up. The teacher comes up to her and takes the hoop away (her support) well Mia grabs her hand and the lady lets go and walks away meanwhile I am trying to get over to her and another mom runs over and takes her hand. My poor honey. Can't they see she needs more help than that?

Oh that MY GYM makes me very upset. Today, the day I have looked forward to for the past 16 days was the day that was supposed to be the SPECIAL NEEDS CLASS. I get Mia all geared up and excited (and I am already excited). We get there and I kind of wonder...well, what are we the only ones here? All of the teachers are sitting around the floor having a staff meeting and the owner comes up to me and asks what he can do to help me. I reply I am here for the class. He laughs, we don't have classes Monday afternoon. I say, well according to YOUR schedule you do have a class at 4:45 that started today for Special Needs. He walks over to grab a schedule (I am sure to try and prove me wrong) and BAM there it is on the schedule. He then tries to talk his way around it and blame me. He said well, there hasn't been anyone that said they wanted to come to it so it hasn't started yet. (According to them you didn't need to sign up just show up). He keeps offering to call me when it starts up. I explain to him that we already go to the Waddlers Class so I can just get the info during class. He looks at me confused and beats totally around the bush and is all hesitant and crap and stutters (not as in a speech problem, but as in a big fat wuss that is scared to ask) "What exactly are her SPECIAL NEEDS?" Well, what difference does it make. You said you were offering the class I didn't know I needed to discuss her needs with them. Whatever, I reply...she is Globally Delayed (and I said it smartly too). He then says, well, we do have some people interested and we are just waiting to have 2 or 3 and we will start it. (Now he has people interested when 2 seconds ago no one was?) UGH. I was so ANGRY! Like it is easy to have a SN child and then to go and be treated like a fool for showing up was just too much for me today. Mia meanwhile I screaming as we are walking out the door, she was so excited to be there to *play* but no! I left and just loudly said how completely ridiculous this was. I really wanted to *flip out*. How mad am I? I feel like it was a *joke* played on me and I fell for it. Yeah Tara, come on over we will have a great time, then no one else besides me shows up. Thanks.

Lastly, I don't want to get into what totally took my day over the top, but it was something, life changing, that I have suspected for a very long time that finally came to the surface tonight. I am very mixed about it, but emotionally I am just too overwhelmed for anything else right now. I am not going to *call* anyone out on this blog because well, that is just rude, but I am sick of a certain person (not my bloggin buds) that manipulates so much and tonight was a perfect example of it. I am glad that someone else feels better and I feel worse. I am glad that someone else wants everything to be about them. To justify your actions over and over again when you are in the wrong is f'd up to say the least.

Off to bed, I hope tomorrow brings positive experiences and a new least on life. I cannot take much more of my current *life*. I need a break.